My three year old has just learned about 'sorry'....what's that got to do with trampires? Read the full story here
You're the one for me, Fatty....
THE future's looking pretty bleak, it seems. From Fritz Lang's Metropolis through Blade Runner, through all the various incarnations of 1984 right up to The Hunger Games it looks like it'll be quite dark and wet , much like the present, and our clothes will be pretty awful. Robots will be ruthless, observation will be constant and there will be a lot of hovering.
And the humans? Think Wall-E. No, not kind and gentle environmental types who content ourselves of a bleak, dystopian evening watching old Barbra Streisand movies. It's more likely that we'll transport ourselves in automated devices, consume hastily-made, readily-available food in substantial portions and be quite round in the midriff area. Oh, hang on...
I couldn't ruin the perfect memory - by going to see my favourite band...
MY favourite song of all time? Fool's Gold by the Stone Roses. Favourite album? The Stone Roses. So where was I last night when they played their triumphant gig at the Phoenix Park? At home on the sofa. By complete and absolute choice. There was no question about it – the last band that I want to see perform live is the Stone Roses.
THERE’S a lot to admire about Queen Elizabeth II. She's an aspirational figure – at 86, her grace, energy, wisdom and diplomacy are staggering. But QE2 has one thing in particular that I covet the most. Her own bedroom.
THESE turf wars are quite nasty all the same. Machinery going on fire, tussles, scuffles, hospitalisations, Ming's beard... does anyone else think, however, that even if they could get the turf cut in the first place, what would be the point? In this weather, it would be like trying to get wet bread out of soup? Without caterpillar wheels, summer 2012 is, in practical terms, not a good one for the bog.
Why I can't be bothered about Euro 2012 - It's for the national good
I'VE had to turn the radio off. It's getting me too excited – people recounting their memories of Germany '88 and Italia '90. The ghostly echo of Maire Ni Braonain's plaintive 'Ole, Ole, Ole, Ole.....' bringing a nostalgic tear to my eye.
Maybe we're not so bad at this summer lark after all...
WALKING through Dublin City Centre last Thursday morning was an absolute joy. Dappled sunlight on the pavements, birdsong from the trees, gulls wheeling overhead. People smiled, restaurant staff added the finishing touches to their outdoor tables, a shining old Routemaster bus growled its way along Dawson street en route to a 'special event' - if there was a soundtrack it would have been Vivaldi. ..
In your face recession - I'm seeing your good side...
IN a parallel universe, it's Friday night, and you're savouring truffled ballotine of quail with friends, debating politics, fine art and the three plays you've only managed to see this month.
In the real world, it's Friday night and you're impatiently waiting for the big treat of the week – the M&S meal deal, a large glass of wine and pressing 'play' on the episode of The Bridge you've been saving since last Saturday.
WHEN I hear him cackle I search frantically for a convenient blackboard down which to run my nails to create a preferable sound. Along with Cheryl Cole and Mad Men, I cannot understand the appeal of Ricky Gervais. Or am I kidding myself? Read the full story here
What an absolute Brick....
JUST when you think you're a woman breaking through the glass ceiling, along comes Samantha Brick. Read the article here
Kids in restaurants after six? Love them, but I couldn't eat a whole one.....
A QUICK search on Google and you'll find hundreds of different stories of restaurants worldwide who have banned, are planning to ban, punish, torture or eat children who dare to enter their establishments so there was nothing surprising to the story that Nick Munier of Dublin city centre eatery, Pichet, is contemplating excluding children after 6pm.
As the parent of two, I say good. Read the rest of the article here
Spring has sprung - thanks to David Walliams, the saviour of Britain's Got Talent
THERE were two things that we were assured of last weekend – one, this is summer and I bet you mowed your lawn, rattled a flowerbed, barbequed a sausage and released your children without seven layers on. Two, that Britain's Got Talent is a series of complete and total set ups, but I love them both. All I need is a dancing dog, a child being flung around by acrobats or a group of against-the-odds street dancing grandads and I'm hooked. Spring has sprung. Read the article here
Sidse Babett Knudsen as Birgitte Nyborg in Borgen
Dear Sarah Lund, while The Killing has been away, I've been seeing someone else. She's not better than you, just different. I don't even know her that well yet – I haven't seen inside her jumper drawer. But she's a pint-sized firecracker in a too-tight suit. She's Birgitte Nyborg and I think I love her a little.... Read the article here
Why Ghost Stories?
Armchair Thriller "Quiet As A Nun"
I've always been fascinated by the idea of ghosts - I can remember distinctly asking my mother what ghosts were at roughly the age of three as she tucked me in for the night and thus began a lifetime spent being just that little bit on edge most of the time. Read the rest of the article here
Christmas shopping - it's not like managing the royal wedding...
Oh get that Barry over there, he's hilarious. He didn't do his Christmas shopping until last thing Christmas Eve and sure all the shops were shut except for the petrol station down the road so do you know what did? He gave his Dad some anti-freeze, and his Mam one of those ice scrapers and his little sister got an air freshener in the shape of a pine tree, and..... Read the article here
Piggygate - Mick deserves to be morto but I know just how he feels...
First off , there was the whole driving over the plinth escapade – morto for Mary Mitchell O'Connor; now we've got Piggygate – morto for Mick and Ming (including Shane Ross in this sentence would just ruin the alliteration. And in his own words, “Ming and Shane Ross had nothing to do with it”. Sir..Read the article here
GETTING PUBLISHED: The shocking truth about unique selling points
Asking a roomful of writers to think about themselves isn't so much a simple idea to be done later in the privacy of one's own garret; It's the equivalent of releasing the hare at a greyhound race or telling a tramp to be smelly and rude. It gets done straight away.
What ten things make me different, I began to wonder, and drew a complete and total blank. I like TV and movies and food and reading... Read the article here
One too Mani for Primal Scream...and for Generation X
I definitely saw it, slinking away into the distance.. And it made me feel sad and old and strangely nostalgic.
In the '70's, they were everywhere. Like copybooks covered in bread wrappers or duffel coats – three-legged dogs were part of the landscape, hobbling along with sorry eyes, curled-up tails and a poignant backstory. And then, maybe as veterinary science advanced, or canines evolved to understand the safe cross code, they vanished. Until recently when I saw one in our estate, looking at me, wishing someone would attach a little tray on wheels to his rump I imagine. Read the rest of the article here